As a step parent, you have your role cut out for you. You know already that you may have to earn the love and trust of your step children before being accepted as part of the family.
This no doubt could be a bit daunting because sometimes, you never know whether you are doing the right thing or not by them.
The age group of the step children play a large part in the process of building a strong step family unit.
Age 0 - 5
Children within this age range are the most receptive. They are still young and innocent and rely a lot on their parents. If a step parent is introduced at this stage, it might be easier for the step children to accept the new person in their lives.
They will of course not understand what is happening, but will most likely just go with the flow.
Age 5 - 10
The general awareness of children within this age range is medium. They know that some changes have occurred within the house. They are aware that one of the parents no longer lives in the house but may not fully understand why.
Children of this age range may however be fed with all sorts of information from both the parent they are living with and the one who left the house.
Also, there will be a tendency for them to pick up titbits of information from friends and family.
As a step parent, it is important to respect a child of this age and make sure you handle any questions they may ask with care. The child may ask questions about the parent who is no longer in the house and it is important not to say anything disparaging about the parent (even if they did do something bad that led to the split).
Always say good things about the other parent. The child needs to know that they still have a biological parent and that you are not there to replace them.
Age 10 to 15
Children within this age range may find it difficult or hard to accept someone new into their lives because they are already used to having one parent around. They may not be receptive to such a change and could make life difficult for the person who they regard as an intruder.
Step parents would need to brace themselves for such reactions from step children from this age range. They should understand that apart from the fact that the child is going through phases in their life at that age, they also have to put up with a stranger (in their eyes).
It could be a bit much for children of this age to take in, but a lot of patience and understanding on the part of the step parent is encouraged.
15 upwards
This could go either way. The step children may be indifferent to the new arrangements of their parent and would therefore not be in the way of the step parent. On the other hand, they could decide to make life a misery for the latest member of the family.
With children of this age range, the personality, previous experience and upbringing can play a large part in whether they would be accepting of a step parent or not.
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